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143 notes   •   VIA: katemarzullo   •   SOURCE: katemarzullo

Call Me Maybe

katemarzullo:

Guys, can we talk for a minute about how Sansa and Sandor address each other?

I find this aspect of their relationship fascinating — the fact that they seem to REFUSE to address each other by their actual names!

In one corner, you have Sandor, who, despite being Sansa’s social inferior, deliberately neglects to ever bestow on her the titles and courtesies that she is entitled to even as a “hostage”. He does address her as “Lady Sansa” once at Joff’s Name Day Tourney, but I think that was more for the benefit of the present company (it also read rather sarcastic). In their one-on-one interactions, however, it’s “girl” or “little bird” or “sweetcheeks” (okay, I made that last one up). It’s all very informal.

Then you have Sansa on the flip side, who has a helluva difficult time trying to find some way to address Sandor that ISN’T in a formal manner — “ser” and “my lord” are the best she can come up with, although he is officially neither a knight nor a lord. She calls him “Ser Sandor” once when he’s escorting her from the Hand’s Tourney, but he put the kibash on that pretty quick. Funny thing is, she never asks him what hell he DOES want to be called! And he certainly never offers any alternatives. I wonder what he would say if she did ask… I imagine he would have bitterly suggested she call him “dog” like everyone else does, but she would not have been down with that, as we know she finds the term demeaning. So, to his face, she pretty much doesn’t call him anything if she can help it, and in the text itself, he is always either The Hound or Sandor Clegane (and occasionally just Clegane).

So, what can we infer from this? Well, from Sandor’s POV, I think he shuns the courtesies partly because courtesies are for sissies but also because it IS too formal, and as we know, he is desperate for intimacy and connection with her though he has no clue how to go about getting it. To address her as Sansa, however, would be TOO personal. So what’s the solution? A happy medium of coming up with a nickname for her that is only between them. By calling her “little bird”, he can attain that intimacy with her that he wants without encroaching too much on her personally by using her actual name.

And I think Sansa mirrors this in her refusal to simply address him as Sandor. By doing so, it implies some sort of familiarity and/or kinship, neither of which she is ready to acknowledge just yet. She’s not gonna call him “Clegane” either because that smacks of condescension and superiority. For the same reasons, she wouldn’t call him “Hound” to his face nor “dog”, which is out of the question. So “ser” and “my lord” are basically all she has to fall back on at this point. And even in her own intimate thoughts she cannot bring herself to be so familiar.

Just to sate my own curiosity/boredom, I made a li’l breakdown of how they refer to each other in their scenes together in AGoT and ACoK (in fairness, these only apply to scenes where they are physically in each other’s presence):

Sansa:
"Ser Sandor" — 1 time (spoken)
"My lord" — 4 times (all spoken)
"Sandor Clegane" — 21 times (all text)
"Clegane" — 9 times (all text)
"The Hound" — 45 times (43 text, 2 spoken)

Sandor:
"Lady Sansa" - 1 time
"Child" - 1 time
"Girl" - 9 times
"Little Bird" - 17 times

Suffice it to say, if one of them ever eventually pulls the trigger in addressing the other simply by their first name, it will be a MAJOR moment!

NOTE: I couldn’t find a fitting screenshot for this post, so instead, here’s a long shot of the beating scene, after Sansa has been stripped, and Sandor with his face turned away like A GODDAMN GENTLEMAN.

image

“A dog will die for you but never lie to you”. The three times the Hound lied for Sansa Stark

chaouenmadrid:

I find very interesting this sentence of the Hound, not only because of its meaning but because of when it’s said. It has become one of his most popular quotes, though notice than when he tells it to Sansa, he has already lied for her three times.

1. GOT. When Joffrey shows Sansa Ned and Septa Mordane’s heads

“Your brother is a traitor too, you know.” He turned Septa Mordane’s head back around. “I remember your brother at Winterfell. My dog called him the lord of the wooden sword. Didn’t you, dog?”
“Did I?” the Hound replied. “I don’t recall.”

2. ACOK. At Joffrey’s nameday tourney

Joffrey scowled. He knew she was lying, she could see it. He would make her bleed for this.
“The girl speaks truly,” the Hound rasped. “What a man sows on his name day, he reaps throughout the year.” His voice was flat, as if he did not care a whit whether the king believed him or no.

3. ASOS. When Sandor escorts Sansa to her chambers after the Serpentine stairs scene and they meet Ser Boros:

Ser Boros turned to Sansa. “How is it you are not in your chambers at this hour, lady?”
“I went to the godswood to pray for the safety of the king.” The lie sounded better this time, almost true.
“You expect her to sleep with all the noise?” Clegane said. “What was the trouble?”
“Fools at the gate,” Ser Boros admitted. “Some loose tongues spread tales of the preparations for Tyrek’s wedding feast, and these wretches got it in their heads they should be feasted too. His Grace led a sortie and sent them scurrying.”
“A brave boy,” Clegane said, mouth twitching.

It’s evident where his loyalty fall when it comes to telling the truth. The Hound lies, as everybody does in King’s Landing, the difference is to whom. And seeing how he has behaved with Sansa so far and how he’d already lied in order to protect her, clearly this phrase is not a generalization and it refers to his thoughts about her and it’s meant only for her (unfortunately, Sansa doesn’t notice).

In the end, he says it: “I’m honest. It’s the world that’s awful”

morethanprinceofcats:

Major trigger warning for rape and abuse; one mention of miscarriage.

okay all humor aside, i am really freaked out by Littlefinger apologism because with posts like that and others, what i read is, “Littlefinger’s abuse is okay/not abuse/actually positive character interaction because he’s slight and unassuming and doesn’t ‘hurt’ Sansa - everyone else is 100% a terrible oppressive abuser who cannot ever be trusted.”

This all hits me really hard, for a number of reasons.

(Under a cut, because it got ridiculously lengthy; mostly i compare the interactions of Tyrion and Sandor with Sansa to Petyr’s in order to disprove the above thesis.)

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44 notes   •   VIA: ekosullivan   •   SOURCE: ekosullivan

A Jungian Reading of Arya and Sansa Stark

ekosullivan:

Below is a section of my Senior Thesis paper I did while I studied English at Drexel University! For my project, I did a Proppian and Jungian analysis on the journeys of Arya and Sansa Stark throughout George R. R. Martin’s  A Song of Ice and Fire series. I compared their heroic journeys through Proppian analysis, and then examined the figures they interact with through Jungian analysis to compare what that might mean for their roles as heroes in ASOIaF. Below is an excerpt from my project on the Jungian analysis portion of my paper.

Introduction

            The ideas of Carl Jung are useful in examining narratives with mythical elements, such as George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire. Carl Jung was a Swiss psychoanalyst and psychiatrist who studied the unconscious aspects of humans (Thury and Devinney 519). He believed that through the process of individuation, the unconscious mind encounters fragmented archetypes that represent the parts of the unconscious human psyche, and the pattern of these interactions is what develops the personality of the person (Thury and Devinney 519). In the study of mythology, these archetypal parts of the psyche are found in the form of figures which frequently arise in mythic stories. These are the Shadow, the Animus or Anima (depending on the gender of the dreamer), and the Self (Thury and Devinney 527). In the process of individuation, the dreamers must meet and interact with these figures in order to meet with their Self figures, which will lead them to become their fully realized self and have fully developed their personality.
            The Shadow exemplifies the traits that the dreamer doesn’t acknowledge as a part of him or herself, as seen in the way Arya and Sansa show contrasting characteristics of one another, despite their upbringing in the same home. The Animus figures represent masculine qualities of the female dreamer that they must interact with in order to reach their full realized self. After interacting with her Shadow and Animus figures, the dreamer will eventually encounter a fully realized Self figure which will allow her to complete the process of individuation. Despite their different journeys, Self figures can be seen for both Arya and Sansa in their direwolves, their home of Winterfell, and in their lady mother’s transformation into the ominous Lady Stoneheart.
            In the Jungian process of individuation, the archetypal figures interact with one another in a way that both reflects and leads to the full development of a person’s personality (Thury and Devinney 526). When applied to a story, instead of a dream or myth, the process of individuation occurs through the interaction of these archetypal characters, with the main character being seen as the “dreamer” who is undergoing the process of individuation.
            As Arya and Sansa are considered two of many protagonists in the A Song of Ice and Fire series, each can be considered the “dreamer” in her respective storyline. The stories of Arya and Sansa are not complete so they have not completed their process of individuation yet, although through the interaction of their Shadow, Animus, and Self figures in their stories so far, we can see their processes of individuation as underway. Through analyzing both Arya and Sansa’s archetypal figures in their stories, we can see that both girls are undergoing a process of individuation, as well as both playing an important role in each other’s processes by filling the role of each other’s Shadow figures.

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Anonymous asked: So I am confused a bit, Doran tells Arianne he was training her brother to be the heir because he intended her to be the next Targ queen- marry up and sib takes your place. But what about sideways matches, if Arianne successfully married Willas Tyrell- be Lady Tyrell and Princess? If their firstborn was a boy rule over Reach and Dorne? How do this consolidations of power work?

We don’t know. There is very little historical evidence in Westeros of an heiress marrying an heir.

The only example we have is in a much smaller domain, where two neighboring minor noble houses (House Webber and House Osgrey) merged their lands when the ruling lady of House Webber married the lone survivor of House Osgrey. (As much of the lands of House Webber had once belonged to House Osgrey many years earlier before their decline, this was a very satisfactory decision for him; and as she had needed to marry because her father’s will said the lands would go to a cousin if she didn’t, it was a mostly satisfactory decision for her.) Though notably this was about a hundred years ago, and neither house is mentioned in current Westeros, so we don’t know what the eventual fallout was.

Anyhow, that was a situation barely a step up from landed knights, just a matter of a few acres and two castles. When it’s a matter of Great Houses, and the control of entire regions of Westeros… we just don’t know what could happen. Especially in a situation like Dorne and the Reach, that are traditional enemies with many border wars… would it force a peace? Would there be arguments over whether the eldest child would rule over one land or the other? Or since they’re neighbors, would there be a merged kingdom, like Castile and Aragon? And how would the other Great Houses feel about this? (The land areas of Dorne and the Reach put together would be a little less than half the South.)

For what it’s worth, though… Littlefinger has arranged the betrothal of Sansa Stark, the lady-in-exile* of House Stark and the North, to Harry Hardyng, the future Lord of the Vale of Arryn. From what Littlefinger has said, he seems to think that the Vale lords will eagerly accept Sansa as their lady and also help her regain the North. (Whether he actually believes this is anyone’s guess.) It’s possible that in the next book we’ll find out the legal issues involved in a merge of Great Houses and kingdoms. Of course, I don’t expect this betrothal to work out, so it’s also possible we may not find out anything at all, unfortunately.

*(I know, Sansa’s actual legal title is complicated as hell, what with the North declaring themselves an independent kingdom, the Iron Throne attainting the Starks and granting the North to the Boltons, her believed-dead brothers that are actually alive but missing, the false Arya Stark that married Ramsay Bolton, and the legitimization of Jon Snow that’s potentially in Robb’s will — not to mention the fact that Sansa’s an accused-kingslaying wanted criminal — but that’s probably what the Vale lords would call her if she revealed herself to them, ok?)

And yes, the same issues of merged kingdoms were involved in the nipped-in-the-bud-betrothal of Willas and Sansa, though it’s uncertain if the Tyrells were planning on Robb’s death and Sansa becoming Lady of the North. As the Reach and the North are not even neighbors like the North and the Vale, I have no idea how this potential merge would have worked. And you may ask, what about Tyrion, isn’t he technical heir to the Westerlands, wouldn’t this have also been the same question? Well, Tywin had absolutely no intention of Tyrion inheriting Casterly Rock and was planning on making him the Protector of Winterfell instead, so the issues aren’t quite the same.

Anyhow. I hope the subject is discussed in future books (or even the World of Ice and Fire, some other historical example or something), because quite frankly I’d really like to know how it works myself.

Forever LOLing at the idea that Sansa inherited her interest in fashion…

buffyofwinterfell:

…from Catelyn.

Sansa’s POVs almost always begin with a description her carefully picked-out outfit. She also pays much mind to what others are wearing.

Catelyn details her own clothes maybe two or three times in the entire series. She also rarely go into what others are wearing*.

You know who does mentions what they’re wearing in nearly evey POV chapter? Ned.

You know who’s POV noted what exact shade of green Cersei was wearing when she arrived in Winterfell? Remembered the fine detail of the golden stags Renly liked to embroider in his capes and doublets? Explained to us the modest colours and small mockingbird pin that Littlefinger affects when Renly is teasing Baelish’s plain clothes when really the teasing should have been enough to illustrate that Littlefinger doesn’t like ostentatious clothes, but I guess the details and fabrics of court worth mentioning anyways? Fucking Ned.

Ned kinda thinks dismissively about showy dress, but he that doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about fashion. His own personal taste is just more polished and subtle**, which serves the narrative function of highlighting the wasteful pomp of King’s Landing. Someone who doesn’t care about fashion period, probs wouldn’t have noted these differences at all.

Sansa totes inherited her fashinonista ways from Ned, guys.

*[aside: tbh the only time I explicitly remember Cat going into detail about others’ clothes is when meeting Roslin Frey, whom she notes is wearing a fine light blue and delicate lacey dress. You could argue she only even noted this for practical reasons; Roslin is marrying her brother politically and Cat is instantly measuring the Frey’s motives behind this by assesing how well they’ve bothered to present the bride. Cat is actually far more ‘meh’ of the trappings of traditional noblewoman-dom than we give her credit for: she’s not snobby or uncomfortable talking to smallfolk, getting upset at Edmure for not remembering the name of the old village woman who gave them treats as kids. She directly challenges Robb for unconsciously thinking that daughter are less important than sons. In AGOT, she’s all ‘fuck modesty’ when walking naked around Maester Luwin (I mean, he delivered all her babies, he’s seen it all so what’s the point of airs???). long aside done]

**(I remember a lotta greys and silvers, but with nifty capes and belts. Smoky chic, ned!)

Sansa is Lady, Lady is Sansa. GET ON MY INNER-WOLF LEVEL.

labonsoirfemme:

eyelinerstains replied to your post “Sometimes I think I’m over the fact that Sansa lost Lady and then I…”

Yooo, wait, can you explain that “Sansa is Lady now” please?

I sure can! You can also read this post on asoiafuniversity by bagofthapphireth, which is where I first saw this theory. They and I differ a bit, though, in that they believe that Sansa has replaced Lady as a sister to the other wolves, whereas I believe that Lady and Sansa have in fact become one and the same at an pure identity level and within the present tense, leading the other wolves to conflate the two identities, ~*as I shall now discuss.*~

It’s been repeated over and over, in various POVs and by various characters, that the direwolves are a part of the Stark children, and vice versa:

“He is part of you, Robb. To fear him is to fear you.” [Catelyn to Robb, ASOS]

Ghost did not count. Ghost was closer than a friend. Ghost was part of him. [Jon, ADWD]

“Part of you is Summer, and part of Summer is you. You know that, Bran.” [Jojen to Bran, ACOK]

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cumragstoriches asked: Is there any particular reason given for why Littlefinger is only Lord Protector of the Vale and not the lord in his own right, given that he was married to the ruling Lady of the Vale? I'd have guessed its because Lysa is a Tully and not an Arryn, but Bronn is also only Lord Protector of Stokeworth and he married a Stokeworth?

…because Littlefinger isn’t the heir to the Vale?

Jon Arryn was Lord of the Vale. His son Robert “Sweetrobin” Arryn is his heir and current Lord of the Vale. Lysa Tully Arryn was Jon Arryn’s wife and Robert’s mother. She acted as Robert’s regent and Lady of the Vale after Jon died, but she had no actual right to the seat in and of herself — her power derived through Robert only. And in AGOT you can see she has many suitors, all hoping to marry her. Not to become Lord of the Vale as that is Robert, but to become Robert’s co-guardian through her, which could also include stewardship of the Vale and the position of Lord Protector, basically ruling the Vale until Robert comes of age.

Note, if by chance Robert had died before Lysa did, then Harry Hardyng (Robert’s heir because he’s the son of Jon Arryn’s sister’s daughter and there are no living closer relatives) would have become Lord of the Vale, and Lysa would have been s.o.l. (Though as Harry is still underage, he too would have a regent, probably his guardian Anya Waynwood but possibly at least one other Vale lord as well.) Most likely Lysa would still have been charitably allowed to live in the Eyrie as Jon Arryn’s widow, but you can imagine there would have been greater murmurs of “she doesn’t belong here” and in time she might have gone back to Riverrun or who-knows-where.

But that did not happen — Petyr Baelish married Lysa, and when he killed her Lysa died, he declared himself Robert’s guardian and Lord Protector of the Vale. As Littlefinger had no connection to Robert except through being married to Lord Jon Arryn’s widow (for only a few weeks!*), and also had a somewhat unsavory reputation / was an upjumped nobody, this caused much murmuring among the Vale lords, leading eventually to the Lords Declarant situation. Their letter spoke of “false friends and evil counselors” and a “misrule” that must be ended, and their intent was to remove Petyr from his position of Lord Protector by any means possible. Through trickery Littlefinger managed to convince them to give him a year as Robert’s guardian, and is confident he’ll be able to keep them manipulated and disorganized in the future.

*[As another what-if, if Petyr had been able to keep Lysa unjealous and alive for about 9 months or so and if she had borne his child, that child would have had no rights to the Vale whatsoever, but would have been heir to the Baelish keep on the Fingers, to Harrenhal, and distantly to Riverrun (after Edmure Tully, his unborn child, and then the Stark children). (Note Brynden Blackfish would have rights to Riverrun after that what-if child; also note this Riverrun succession list is somewhat faulty as it ignores the legal order from the Iron Throne that took Riverrun away from House Tully and gave it to Emmon Frey and Genna Lannister.)]

Re the other half of your question, Bronn is not Lord Protector of Stokeworth. Lollys is Lady Stokeworth (since her mother and older sister are dead), and he is her husband. Bronn calls himself Lord Stokeworth, but legally he has no right to the title. (Though he does have a small army in the castle, who treat him as Lord Stokeworth, so he does have the right of occupation for as long as he can keep it.) However, Bronn is also guardian of Lollys’s bastard son Tyrion Tanner, and intends to have at least one legitimate child with her. That child would be heir to Stokeworth (surpassing the bastard T.T.), and as that child’s father, Bronn might be legally appointed Lord Protector of Stokeworth until he or she comes of age. Note, it’s possible that even before that happens, Bronn could make a legal claim to be Lord Protector of Stokeworth based on Lollys’s mental disability, but so far he seems satisfied with his, um, extra-legal claim.

So leaving Bronn aside, the actual situation closest to Petyr’s position of Lord Protector of the Vale was Tywin’s plans for Tyrion and Sansa. His intent was that Sansa would inherit Winterfell as the only known living Stark (as Theon had claimed to kill Bran and Rickon, Arya was missing-believed-dead**, and the Red Wedding was in the works so Robb was already written off), and Tyrion would quickly impregnate her. As the husband of the underage Lady Stark and the father of Ned Stark’s grandchild (slash probably the father of infant Lord/Lady Stark as the odds of Sansa dying in childbirth were quite high), Tyrion would be Lord Protector of Winterfell. Why Tywin just expected the Northmen to roll over and accept Tyrion as their leader is a question we don’t know the answer to, but probably they would have gone north with a very large army. Which does seem to have been part of the plans, considering the secondary plan that went into effect after Tyrion was arrested for Joffrey’s murder, Sansa disappeared, and the Boltons were granted Winterfell/the North and the faked Arya Stark. (**Interestingly, Roose Bolton speaks of the “found” Arya Stark even before the Red Wedding. Tywin was evidentially working on Plan B for some time, perhaps as a supplement to his plans for Tyrion and Sansa.)

Anyway, to sum up: in Westeros, Lord Protector is a title given to a regent for a lord or lady who has not yet come of age. (As one more example, Ned Stark would have been Lord Protector of Westeros, acting as regent for Joffrey, if not for Cersei’s coup.) A Lord (or Lady) in their own right is the title given to the heir to a seat, once they take up their inheritance. And in cases where a woman is the heir and has inherited as ruling lady in her own right, her husband (if she has one) is her consort with no particular title unless she gives him one (e.g. Lady Rhea Royce and her husband Prince Daemon Targaryen); though he might become Lord Protector of her heir, especially if she dies before they come of age.

itsinthetrees:

Sansa Stark and Penelope, Queen of Ithaca
“Young men, my wooers, since goodly Odysseus is dead, be patient, though eager for my marriage, until I finish this robe — I would not that my spinning should come to naught.” - The Odyssey
Penelope (Greek: Πηνελόπεια, Penelopeia) was a cousin of Helen and Clytemnestra, the daughter of the Spartan king Icarius. She caught Odysseus’s eye when he was one of Helen’s many suitors, and the two fell in love immediately. Penelope and Odysseus had a brief but happy life together that produced one son, Telemachus, who was born shortly before Odysseus was called to fight in the Trojan War.
Most famous as an icon of marital fidelity, Penelope waited twenty years for Odysseus, though the rest of the world believed him dead after he was lost at sea. 108 suitors gathered in her castle and attempted to force her to marry one of them, thereby allowing the chosen man to claim Ithaca as his own kingdom. Through trickery and guile — and her mastery of the art of weaving — she managed to hold them off for years by weaving and then secretly unraveling her husband’s funeral shroud, arguing she could not remarry while it remained unfinished. She was eventually betrayed by one of her maids, as some of them had taken to sleeping with the suitors. After Penelope’s duplicity was revealed, the suitors grew even more restless.
When Odysseus returned to her in disguise, Penelope was overjoyed, and helped him orchestrate the execution of the suitors by setting up a contest involving the use of Odysseus’s old and unwieldy bow. Only Odysseus himself could complete the feats of archery she laid before the men, and once he stood victorious he revealed his true identity and slew them all.
Sansa’s general arc is the same as Penelope’s — she is the lady in the tower using traditionally feminine-coded skills (weaving, courtesy) in order to survive — but with one obvious and important difference: she has no Odysseus. All Sansa has are nasty suitors, and lots of them. They’re massing at the bottom of her castle trying to take her claim, and there is no husband at sea to return in disguise and save her from the Hound, Littlefinger, and the rest. Obviously no one can say where this story is going with any certainty, but I think Martin is aiming toward a Penelope who saves herself.

itsinthetrees:

Sansa Stark and Penelope, Queen of Ithaca

“Young men, my wooers, since goodly Odysseus is dead, be patient, though eager for my marriage, until I finish this robe — I would not that my spinning should come to naught.” - The Odyssey

Penelope (Greek: Πηνελόπεια, Penelopeia) was a cousin of Helen and Clytemnestra, the daughter of the Spartan king Icarius. She caught Odysseus’s eye when he was one of Helen’s many suitors, and the two fell in love immediately. Penelope and Odysseus had a brief but happy life together that produced one son, Telemachus, who was born shortly before Odysseus was called to fight in the Trojan War.

Most famous as an icon of marital fidelity, Penelope waited twenty years for Odysseus, though the rest of the world believed him dead after he was lost at sea. 108 suitors gathered in her castle and attempted to force her to marry one of them, thereby allowing the chosen man to claim Ithaca as his own kingdom. Through trickery and guile — and her mastery of the art of weaving — she managed to hold them off for years by weaving and then secretly unraveling her husband’s funeral shroud, arguing she could not remarry while it remained unfinished. She was eventually betrayed by one of her maids, as some of them had taken to sleeping with the suitors. After Penelope’s duplicity was revealed, the suitors grew even more restless.

When Odysseus returned to her in disguise, Penelope was overjoyed, and helped him orchestrate the execution of the suitors by setting up a contest involving the use of Odysseus’s old and unwieldy bow. Only Odysseus himself could complete the feats of archery she laid before the men, and once he stood victorious he revealed his true identity and slew them all.

Sansa’s general arc is the same as Penelope’s — she is the lady in the tower using traditionally feminine-coded skills (weaving, courtesy) in order to survive — but with one obvious and important difference: she has no Odysseus. All Sansa has are nasty suitors, and lots of them. They’re massing at the bottom of her castle trying to take her claim, and there is no husband at sea to return in disguise and save her from the Hound, Littlefinger, and the rest. Obviously no one can say where this story is going with any certainty, but I think Martin is aiming toward a Penelope who saves herself.

tbornottbthatisthequestion asked: Regarding Sansa and Arya and friends, I think it stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of the characters. Sansa wouldn't be happy with a large group of friends--they would drain her emotionally. If a stranger talked to her at the grocery store, it would tire her out. Arya is the stranger at the grocery store who chats up random people. Arya is the sun, teeming with energy. Sansa is the moon, her face is hidden from the world.

This is a really good way of putting it! Arya is a textbook extrovert, thriving on her interactions with people, while Sansa is much more introverted - she likes people, but they tire her out. As well, for all her courtesies, Sansa is actually not great with people? Once they behave outside of a narrow set of rules for social interaction, Sansa is unsure of how to deal with them. Arya, on the other hand, is much more able to go with the flow, and I think more confident in interactions outside of that narrow set of rules.

Also, I feel like Sansa with friends works as a device. For people who like her, it demonstrates that she is lovable and surrounds her with protection. For people who don’t like her, it can make her seem shallow (she values quantity over quality) and gives her flying monkeys to send after less cool people. But I don’t think the texts support her having a lot of friends. In Winterfell she basically just has one friend.

I have seen that in fics before - I tend to keep her down to one best friend and a couple of other, close friends in modern AUs (Loras with Renly and Brienne in What to expect, Mya with Randa in Espresso, for example), but there are fics I’ve read where she’s a Blair Waldorf style Queen Bee, with Jeyne as her Evil Serena and half a dozen girls as her Girls of the Steps/minions who she sends out to torture Arya and Arya’s friends.

(Lbr, if Sansa is anyone from Gossip Girl, it’s Jenny Humphrey. It’s absolutely Jenny Humphrey.)

I think that in Winterfell, Sansa didn’t have an opportunity to make many friends? There weren’t many girls close to her age who would have been seen as appropriate companions, and those that were there were her hierarchal inferiors on a very real level - Jeyne and Beth could belittle and bully Arya because they were Sansa’s friends, but had they turned on one of the Stark girls without the protection/friendship of the other, they would have been punished, and punished harshly.

Because apparently I can’t shut up, the only reason I can think of for anyone to have told Lyanna is that they didn’t want her to find out later and be mad. (My dad and brother died a year ago and you’re just telling me now?!) But I don’t know that I understand her relationship well enough to posit the likelihood of this theory. It does seem more likely to me that they wouldn’t’ve said anything but I’m no expert.

I’m going to try and keep my anti-Rhaegar bias to a minimum here, so:

It doesn’t make sense to believe that Rhaegar was confident enough in Lyanna’s love for him to the point where it would keep her in the Tower of Joy. I was reading a post the other day, I think by Butterfly, about why there were three brothers of the Kingsguard stationed at the ToJ.

It wasn’t to protect the heir to the throne, as people seem to assume. Per Rhaegar’s departure from the ToJ, when Arthur Dayne, Gerold Hightower, and Oswell Whent were stationed there, he was heir to the throne, and Aegon was his heir. Aegon, then Viserys, then Rhaenys, because Jon/Visenya was never anything but a bastard (lol don’t care if you think Rhaegar married Lyanna on their way south, Jon is still a bastard bc polygamy was never standard pratice for the Targaryens and the Faith kinda kicked up stink over it).

Taking the idea of the Kingsguard being there to keep Lyanna in and thereby safeguard the completion of the prophecy, it follows logically that Lyanna was a flight risk. I just don’t see how even Rhaegar, with his head in the clouds, could have seen telling her something so incendiary as anything other than a huge risk. If nothing else, the stress of receiving such information could have caused her to miscarry, and Rhaegar, whatever else you think about him, would not have risked his and Lyanna’s child, imo.